He never once raised the issue. When I do, he storms out of the room, cries, sulks, screams, or remains silent. It certainly is the big elephant in the room. I’m rather attractive and get a few phone numbers when I go out with girlfriends (I’m not bragging, just saying!). I’m his 3rd sexual relationship, I had more – not that I care! He’s also seriously lazy in all spheres of life…
He says he is still attracted to me but his words and actions really don’t align so I am doubtful. He also has no problem with lots of kisses and cuddles, compliments etc – he’s very affectionate. He recently admitted that he sees intimacy (kisses/cuddles) as separate to lovin'..Uh? I don’t get it. I love lovin', I really don’t get it. I also really don’t think he’s having an affair. He’s not the most confident person and needs a lot of reassurance which I have been providing in buckets. Until now.
Is there such a thing as a low lovin' drive for 4 years, or is he just taking me for a ride!? He admitted that since we got married he thought to himself ‘I’m safe, she’s there, married, I can now be complacent’. I’m happy he admitted that but do feel worried that this kind of thinking won’t get us very far. I’ve suggested couple counselling – he always refused saying that he didn’t feel he needed it…You wouldn’t believe the stuff I suggested…I’d be happy to try whatever gets him off – if he only told me! He masturbates and watches bleep sometimes (caught him a few times). I don’t mind but surely if you have a nice wife at home gagging for it you should take care of her, no? He doesn’t want us to watch bleep together but we did go to some lovin' shows/booths in Amsterdam/Paris and was up for that…And now, well, I’ve lost total interest in him sexually after being rejected so many times. Never had this problem before (quite the opposite) , not sure what to make of it.
Even now that we are separated he’s already covering his back by saying that we will have to compromise as we just don’t have the same ‘needs’. I’m no nympho! I can understand that we maybe don’t have the same needs but we used to do it all the time before we got married…Maybe he’s dependent? This kind of statement just brings more questions…
Would you stay with a woman who just doesn’t like lovin'? How would that make you feel? I’ll spare you how it makes me feel..Yes I do believe a marriage/relationship needs work and that’s not a problem at all, but to what cost? I’m just gagging for an alpha male type that will take me and ravage me (LOL, sorry to say!) – simple as that.
Thanks million for your support, I'm really at lost with this situation. It's embarassing enough to talk about - we share mutual friends which makes it impossible to discuss with anyone.
Dx