dad/families/meh

[squeezing_mwah]

okay this could be a long moan....

my twin sister has just called, dad has been taken into hospital.
he has liver, lung and bone cancer, i've not seen him since the summer, and even then it was only for him to walk past me. i have no relationship with any of the family, except my twin, and haven't had since september 2005. i've been trying to put things right with mum and dad since dad was diagnosed in april; but they don't answer my emails, letters, texts and when i go to the house they don't answer the door to me.

so, they seem to have made their feelings towards me clear. that doesn't, however, explain why i am sat alone in my sister's living room shaking, crying and desperate for my knife (i'm a self harmer, although i haven't cut in 17 months). i think it is the beginning of the end for dad, he's only 55.



EDIT:
i'm sorry, i probably shouldn't have posted this, i just needed to get it off my chest

[Emzi]

Aww hun I'm so sorry to hear that I hope somehow you manage to reconcile with your family, especially now. Please don't self harm, I know it's probably easier said than done, but please don't - maybe throw a few things instead to get it out of your system.

I'm sending positive thoughts your way hun. I hope you're ok xxx

[willdchild]

i really feel for you TF-my ex turned my family against me a few years ago and i can tell you it has been hard. at least you have your twin and she is there for you-take strength from that. unfortunately people will do what they want to do and i know how sad it is when they want no contact with you. but as emzi said please dont self harm talk to us on site ok?????
GOOD LUCK

[thephoenix]

sorry to hear that TF hope all goes well for you

[rosie727]

like everyone else who posted here i am sorry TF and hope it all works out. my hubs would say you can pick your friends not ur family.
my brothers wife drove a big wedge between us and although when my grandad died, his family attended the funeral-they never spoke to any of us and that was the last real contact we had with them.
he walked past me in the middle of our town only about a month ago and altho it hurt (as up until that me and him were close) i realised that there was nothing i could do about it and i had to move on. we still send invitations to "special" birthdays etc but he never replies

[squeezing_mwah]

thanks for all your kind thoughts,

my mum's best friend called me and demanded that i go make peace with mum and dad, telling me how disgusting it was that i'm treating them this way. i very calmly told her that i have tried to make contact umpteen times, i even read out a text i saved on my moby that i had sent to dad in June, but she said that because mum had never mentioned it to her it couldn't be true.

i told her that ive tried, been rebuffed and now, as far as im concerned, if they want me, they know where to find me and how to get hold of me, but they had better be quick because the minute i move back to england i will be changing my name and moby number and i won't be telling anyone except my twin where i'll be

[thephoenix]

good luck TF *hugs*

[MollySoo]

TF that''s a horrible thing to happen. Things get worse and worse for you don't they. Hope when you move to England you don't lose touch with us and will still post. How is things going with the house, you lost the one you wanted dind't you? Hope you get a place soon anyway.

[squeezing_mwah]

thanks one and all


xx

[Emzi]

*huggs* and you got us too

[willdchild]

*hugs* tf

[rosie727]

*HUGS*